Don’t Get Lost in the FOG: A Business Owner’s Guide to Spotting Manipulation

You’ve just confronted an employee about stealing from the company. Instead of accountability, you get this: “After everything I’ve done for this place—all the weekends I’ve worked, all the times I’ve covered for others—you’re really going to make a big deal out of this? I’ve given you years of my life, and this is how you treat me?” Your evidence is clear. The theft happened. But suddenly you’re second-guessing whether you’re overreacting. That uncomfortable doubt creeping in? You’re in the FOG.

As a business owner, I’ve learned to recognize one particularly toxic communication pattern. I call it listening for the “FOG.”

FOG stands for Fear, Obligation, and Guilt—three emotional manipulation tactics that masquerade as legitimate communication but are designed to control and coerce.

Fear-Based Communication
Fear tactics scare you into compliance by highlighting exaggerated consequences. Examples: “If you don’t buy this, the worst-case scenario will happen.” “The competition is going to destroy your property.” “Cheaper options are scams.” What to listen for: Urgency without justification, catastrophic predictions, pressure to decide immediately.

Obligation-Driven Language
Obligation tactics make you feel like you “owe” someone a response by referencing past favors. Examples: “After everything I’ve done for this company…” “A good boss would…” “I’ve been loyal to you, so you should…” What to listen for: References to past favors, statements about what you “should” do, implied debt.

Guilt as a Weapon

Guilt-based communication makes you responsible for someone else’s emotions, even when you’re not at fault. Examples: “I guess I’ll just have to work all weekend again” “You’re making this so much harder than it needs to be” What to listen for: Passive-aggressive behavior, victim language when facing normal consequences.

FOG in Sales
FOG is especially common in sales: limited-time pressure, obligation plays, and guilt trips that push people into purchases they’re not ready for. It works short-term but creates buyer’s remorse and kills repeat business.

At my company, we’ve rejected FOG-based sales for a service-based approach. We focus on genuinely serving prospects—whether they buy or not. We educate, we’re transparent about fit, we respect timing, and we provide value in every interaction.

Responding to FOG
When you recognize FOG: • Stay calm • Identify the tactic • Name it out loud: “That sounds like fear” • Set boundaries: “What are the facts?” • Don’t over-explain • Stick to business logic, not emotional pressure

Moving Forward
Learning to recognize FOG has protected me from poor decisions, built stronger relationships, and reduced stress.

You can be compassionate while maintaining boundaries. You can care about people while refusing to be manipulated. And you can build a business culture—and sales approach—based on respect, honesty, and service.